Shades of Alice: "We're all mad here" {Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo}

"We're all mad here."
- the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

About Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo: Twenty-four-year-old Veronika seems to have everything -- youth and beauty, boyfriends and a loving family, a fulfilling job. But something is missing in her life. So, one cold November morning Veronika decides to die. She takes a handful of sleeping pills expecting never to wake up. But she does -- at a mental hospital where she is told that she has only days to live.

This poignant international bestseller by the author of The Alchemist takes readers on a quest to find meaning in a culture overshadowed by angst, soulless routine, and pervasive conformity. Based on events in Coelho's own life, Veronika Decides to Die questions the meaning of madness and celebrates individuals who do not fit into patterns society considers to be normal. Bold and illuminating, it is a dazzling portrait of a young woman at the crossroads of despair and liberation, and a poetic, exuberant appreciation of each day as a renewed opportunity.

My two cents

Paulo Coehlo is one of those authors many wax poetic. I haven't read his popular The Alchemist so I have no preconceptions about him or his writing. However, the blurb and the intro for this book carries some heavy heavy realities of Coehlo's personal struggle with depression and suicide, so I started this book warier than usual (semi-autobiographies are often tough to read).

Veronika is young, beautiful and has her whole life ahead of her. But she's unhappy - not in the dramatic, emotional, dark way that we've come to think of depression - but in the insidious, under-the- radar type of way. In fact, while Veronika is waiting for her overdose of pills to take effect, she is stressing about a tech article that came out in a magazine that chirpily asks "Where is Slovenia?" It triggers something strangely patriotic in her and it occurs to her that since she is in the middle of writing a tell-off letter to the editor that people may connect her suicide with this teeny tiny detail.

But her suicide attempt is thwarted as she wakes up and realizes that she is confined in a mental institution called Villete. She is told that she has irreversibly damaged her heart and that she has only days to live. Unexpectedly this awakens the desire in Veronika to fight for her life, and by default, enjoy her last moments on earth. In her so-called "journey back to sanity," she comes to the "aha" moment that she can simply do what she wants to do - inhibitions and convention be damned - as people are tolerant at least and oblivious at best to those who are labelled mad.

What Veronika doesn't realize is that she is also affecting her fellow patients, who are shocked out of their complacency by the incongruity of Veronika's situation. One of these is a long-time patient, Zedka, who is clinically depressed. Another is Mari who has panic attacks. Lastly there is schizophrenic Eduard, initially attracted by Veronika's piano playing and with whom Veronika eventually falls in love.

Explored in this slyly humorous account of Veronika's Villete stay is the concept that the world is actually collectively mad. What is insanity? It is subjective, depending on which "side of Villete" you're looking at it from. What if the mad ones weren't the people confined in asylums, the outliers, the oddities? What if they were the sane ones and everyone else in the world is mad? This brings to my mind the grinning Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland who proclaims to Alice "We're all mad here." Flipping the idea of madness on its head brings to light that sometimes it takes the desire to buck convention or conformity to be able to live joyously and honestly.

There is a surprise twist at the end that made me go "What!?" Things really have a way of working themselves out, whether by grand design or by serendipity. I still choose to think that the world is a generally benevolent place - it is up to us how we choose to live in it.

Verdict: 

A slyly humorous account of a failed suicide, bringing to light that insanity and conformity are concepts that can be grappled with from both sides of the asylum wall. Sometimes taking the "mad route" is actually the only way to live joyously and honestly. Yet to meet Coehlo? Pick up this or any one of his books as he always has an interesting viewpoint.

Book Depository

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

Yes, it can actually work some magic!

About The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo: This #1 "New York Times" best-selling guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes readers step-by-step through her revolutionary KonMari Method for simplifying, organizing, and storing. Despite constant efforts to declutter your home, do papers still accumulate like snowdrifts and clothes pile up like a tangled mess of noodles?

Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you'll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever.

The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results. In fact, none of Kondo's clients have lapsed (and she still has a three-month waiting list). With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house "spark joy" (and which don't), this international bestseller featuring Tokyo's newest lifestyle phenomenon will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home--and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

My two cents

If you'd like the exact principles, I urge you to pick up the book and scan the table of contents (and read the book, it's not very long!). Here are some key things that I personally picked up from this little volume:

The first task: discard. You can't start tidying without discarding. Besides, there is less to tidy!

There is an order to discarding. The idea is to start with the things you are less attached to and do the most sentimental things last: clothing, books, papers, komono (miscellaneous stuff), mementos.

Touch every single thing you own. Decide whether it "sparks joy" in you (yes, go by gut feel!). If its a "no," get rid of it. By doing this, you will be populating your home with only things that make you happy.

Everything has a place or a "home." Something with a "home" will never become clutter.

A tidy home can change your life. (And I believe it.)

***

I've seen people declaring this book and the KonMari Method as the next best thing since sliced bread!

I thought this book was quite simple and based on common sense.The problem lies in that we becomes attached to our stuff, have emotional attachments (some very deep seated!) which makes parting with things difficult and sometimes seemingly downright impossible. Common sense gives way to emotion, plus there is always some denial, right? (No, I'm not a hoarder; I really need this... sound familiar?)

I picked up this book because I'm always open to ideas for getting my house in order, from decluttering to storage. I've already moved to another continent and dealt with the mountains of stuff that we can't seem to help but accumulate over the years. Faced with a tight schedule and potentially exorbitant shipping costs, our family was practically coerced to empty the house and decide what was essential. That really changed my perspective! However, I did leave a pile of things in my childhood home which I still have to deal with. In our new place, I am finding that things are starting to accumulate once again albeit I am much conscious of it. Habits certainly die hard.

This book also ties in nicely to some principles in Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, another book I liked. Principles like "let go" (discarding stuff!) and "spend out" makes it easy for me to continue down the KonMari road.

While Marie Kondo emphasizes that things be done in one fell swoop, I don't have the time at the moment. I don't want to start something I can't finish (i.e. discarding) when it's still in that weird winter-spring mode so I've picked a few things to do and looked at my drawers and closets and have made some progress!

What I liked

This book is simple, deceptively simple. While touted as tidying or decluttering book, the heart of this book is about changing one's attitude and relationship to the things one owns. I love the idea of keeping only things and surrounding myself only with things that spark joy.

There are some tips and tricks, too: like very specific ways to do things, like folding (upright), putting things in the fridge (upright), in the bathroom (no silly wire mesh holder, just wipe down shampoo containers bottoms). I realized that our carrots have been "standing" in the fridge just like Kondo's!

I already (partially) subscribe to the folding method Kondo describes (instead of stacking one on top of the other, folding garments and standing them like files in an upright filing cabinet) because it's made a huge difference to my underwear and sock drawers which were crammed full and often just stressed me out. After the discarding, I managed to put order into two drawers and realized that I have so much more space. Yay, I can finally find things! Several laundry sessions later, my drawer still looks the same, and I pretty confident that I can keep this up (at least for these two drawers!). (I may have to give up an update when I've done my full discard session during warmer weather.)

Here's how to fold socks and underwear, and what to do with bras :


I also like the idea that Kondo says that we each have our own gauge for determining when we have discarded enough, what is "just right" for ourselves. So book lovers, don't despair if you have hundreds of books because you, and only you, can determine what you think is "enough".

Lastly, I think the idea that we are all personally responsible for our own thing is key. Don't feel pressured to give something up because someone else said so.

Uh-ohs

This isn't a book for everyone.

For those looking for a quick solution, don't expect this to be a magic bullet. Contrary to that lovely title, to experience the magic, you will have to face up to your stuff, and yourself. This book will only be as useful, like many self-improvement books are, if one follows it. Unless you're open to its ideas, no matter how simple or even silly they may seem, don't expect any results. Put the book aside for a time when you are ready.

For those who have already embraced minimalism and/or a generally tidy, you may find a lot of this as elementary, dear Watson. You may feel these things are so obvious that you even wonder why a book like this has been written. If you think you've got things under control, you may find this book entertaining.

I think one big area that has the potential to rub people the wrong way is that this is written from a Japanese perspective and hence, be ready for cultural differences. Kondo suggests talking to things as they were alive (thanking them for the things they do in our lives), and references putting up mini shrines in our homes, and knowing how to discard of "expired" charms.

Verdict:

The state of tidiness of one's home is a reflection of one's attitude and relationship towards things. Deal with your attitude and use Marie Kondo's principles, and you will certainly reap the benefits of a tidy home that reflects and is an extension of the person you are. Skeptical? Don't knock this book just yet, it may just help!

Links:
Google Talks

Use All the Crayons! By Chris Rodell

Because life is anything but black and white!

About Use All the Crayons: The Colorful Guide to Simple Human Happiness by Chris Rodell: Chris Rodell likes to consult with a five-year-old anytime he needs a reminder as to what is important in life. In his uplifting, humorous, and spiritual guidebook Use All the Crayons!, Rodell encourages others to become universally happy by becoming more colorful, interesting, and, most importantly, fun!

Rodell insists that colorful people are invited to the coolest parties; with that goal in mind, he presents over five hundred tips and entertaining, Dale Carnegie–like anecdotes that provide a glimpse into how he has successfully transformed his life into one not focused on money or fame, but instead on inspirational experiences, laughter, and fulfillment. Accompanied by personal diary entries, Rodell shares simple ideas for living a more colorful life, including adding the title “Rev.” to all subscriptions and charitable donations, keeping handfuls of confetti ready for impromptu celebrations, and understanding the advantages of getting a $75 wrist tattoo of an $18,000 Rolex instead of the real thing.

Like a box of crayons, we are all born with an astounding range of color options. This effervescent guidebook combines populist common sense with a healthy dose of optimism in the hopes of teaching others how to make every day as vivacious as the brightest crayon in the box.

My two cents

Sometimes a good laugh is all it takes. In 501 snippets and essays interspersed, Chris Rodell captures the joy in the most mundane. This book is one smile, one laugh, one guffaw, then some contemplation. Then it repeats all over again!

Sure a lot of this is commonsense -- being in the moment, taking notice of what matters to us, our health, our family, community and friends. But isn't commonsense in shortage what with all the distractions and busy-ness in this world? It's nice to be reminded. And challenged.

I found the little pithy nuggets of wisdom in this one both amusing and funny. While I hate to compare people, Rodell's insightful humour reminds me of Robert Fulghum of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten-fame. There is always a teaching moment; the simplest and sometimes most trivial things can become the most meaningful.

***

This collection is diverse and I think there is something for everyone. Here are some of my observations and favourites; you're sure to find your own favourites!

No. 67: Because I'm a book blogger, I loved this: Next time you find reason to go to the local public library, sneak over into the children's section and read an old Dr. Seuss book you remember enjoying as a child. If you don't have a reason, make one up. Wonderful things happen there.


No. 225 and the following Colourful Diary Diary: Rodell suggests adding "Rev." when filling out subscriptions claiming "You'll be amazed at the fawning service you get." Well, he sure got the post office's attention: I noticed the "Rev." when he sent me my review copy and lo and behold, the "Rev." was encircled in red with some shorthand which seemed "fawning" to me!

No. 239 and the following diary entry: The virtues of getting a pedicure. Get one if you never have. Get one, especially if you are male :)

No. 326: Describing the odd, tingly feeling you get below the ankle as having your foot "fall asleep" doesn't cut it for colorful people. Try saying you're suffering from "comatoes."

No. 351 and the following dairy entry: Because I am sooo over Brad Pitt. Whiny is not sexy.

Uh-oh: There were some cheesy or even roll-your-eye moments in this one, I'll be honest (a Rolex tattoo, no thank you). Probably because I couldn't really relate to some of them. I after all, didn't grow up in an American environment. 


Verdict: This collection of humorous musings will inspire and challenge you to find joy in the simple, the trivial, and mundane. Find your favourites. Read and re-read. Open randomly, read, re-read. And share the book and its positivity and humour widely.

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Links: 

• Chris Rodell's guest post "My Rock Star Requirements for Small Town Library Book Signings"
• My Friday 56 and Book Beginnings Post
  

This Book is Free!! That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask. Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books.

But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time or if you know a U.S. serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller[at]chrisrodell.com. He doesn’t believe a book that at its heart aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars.  

“It’s said the best things in life -- love, friendship, laughter -- are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume that this book is one of the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.” 

The House at Anzac Parade by Victor Kline

Take a page ...

About The House at Anzac Parade by Victor Kline: As a child Victor Kline was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by his mother. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, he went on to lead a diverse, exciting and often dangerous life. From medical guinea pig to Federal prosecutor to outback barrister. From provincial France to the highlands of New Guinea to dodging bullets in the Sri Lankan Civil War, The House at Anzac Parade is his story, and the story of his healing.

My two cents

This is a memoir of a good man who has had horrible things happen to him. Call it the luck of the draw but he seems to have been given more than his share. The author bares his soul with his recollections of a cold and rather terrifying childhood at the sadistic hands of his mother. In adulthood, he discovers he has a rare form of cancer.

But this is not a gloom and doom book, it is the exact opposite: it's a conversational, uplifting memoir that will inspire and sharpen your resolve to live life to the fullest.

Kline lives fast and hard, making his way into law and becoming the youngest barrister in Australia. He starts practicing in Australia's outback and gains much insight into Aboriginal life. Then somehow, he's off to London, then teaching in France, then all the way to singing Chantilly Lace in the jungles of New Guinea and then fighting for the adoption of his daughters in war-torn Sri Lanka. He's been across continents, he's held a variety of jobs, and encountered so many people that have made a difference in his life. 

Maybe he wants to escape the pain. Or maybe it's because he wants to scoff in the face of the hand dealt to him. One thing is certain: he was not going to have any of it. Wow, this man kicks back ... and hard.

Through it all, the universe conspired to turn the devastating circumstances so that Kline could find strength in some key people in his life, like his grandfather, his wife, and later his Katherine and his lovely daughters.  It also conspired to bring about ways so he could help others learn about mental illness, and of the difficulties of foreign adoptions.

Nor does he comes out unscathed. Dealing with the hurt and abuse, kicking a deadly disease, having to suffer a failed marriage, and fighting to keep his kids, all these take a toll on him. He discovers healing and serenity in stepping back from his circumstances and taking stock in what truly matters to him. This is what this book is about. That's what sets this story apart: adversity has only made Victor Kline stronger with a greater resolve to continue living life as if each day were his last.

I think we could all take a page from this man's book.

Uh-oh

I cringed a few times throughout the book because of some typos (e.g. shoe in for shoo in, p 133).

Verdict: An inspiring memoir that drives home the point that life is meant to be lived to the hilt. I'm humbled that the author has the courage, the humility, and the humour to share his experiences without wallowing in self-pity. I heartily recommend this memoir.

About Victor Kline

Victor Kline started his working life as Sydney's youngest barrister. He worked as a Federal prosecutor in Sydney before going on to become a defence barrister in the Northern Territory in its wild west days. Victor has also worked as a playwright, theatre director and actor off Broadway and in various parts of Australia. As well as New York and Central Australia, he has lived and worked in London, Paris, the South of France and New Guinea. He has returned home to Sydney to become Editor of the Federal Court Reports and Federal Law Reports, and lives with his wife Katharine and a little grey cat called Spud.

Check out his website www.victorkline.com or the book's Facebook page.

See also Victor Kline's guest post and find out the backstory to his book.

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, Victor, it was a pleasure reading your story!

Book Depository

From My Heart to Yours by Michelle Zarrin

Heartfelt but rambling.

Synopsis of From My Heart to Yours by Michelle Zarrin: Sofia, a young woman from a sheltered upbringing, is in for an unexpected ride when she marries Earl. As their stable union twists unnervingly through health issues, betrayal and shattered hearts, Sofia sheds layers of naivete, deepening her perspective of life. Beautiful life lessons learned from preschool children may heal her scars but can they help her to endure the greatest tragedy of all? This story offers a powerful and inspiring journey into the soul.

My two cents

This is based on a true story and is about a life that was changed, first because of circumstance, and the second time around, because it was so willed. Sofia and Earl fall in love and marry. After an unfortunate skiing accident, Earl suffers pain and succumbs to the solace he finds in painkillers ... hiding, denying, until it spins out of control and Sofia discovers his addiction.

Sophia strives to rebuild a life of normalcy, with the help of her family and friends, away from the toxic and destructive relationship that was her marriage. She gets a new job with preschool children and rediscovers the beauty and peace of simplicity. Meditation, yoga and clean living become Sophia's saving grace.

***

I liked: 

This is a very realistic depiction of a loving relationship that is challenged and later destroyed by drug addiction: the warning signals, the erratic behaviour, the inevitable spillover into other aspects of married life, and the destructive impacts not only on the husband-wife relationship but also within the family circle.

I also appreciated how Sofia's family was portrayed -- a very tight-knit family that supported each other amidst turmoil, betrayal, loss and death. We need to hear more about families helping each other out.

Uh-ohs:

While this is an honest and obviously heartfelt story, I think it may have better been marketed as a memoir instead of a novel.

I probably would've been more forgiving about the long-windedness, the muddied storyline, and the oh-so-many distracting details about the couple's travels and where they've lived. I also felt the writing was roundabout, stilted and awkward, and I somehow got the impression that English may not be the author's first language. The descriptions I felt were were unnecessarily overly flowery and just made me go huh? sometimes.

For example: 

"At Saks and Bergdorf Goodman, superlative, exquisite, imaginative art surrounded the mannequins wearing the designer clothes [..]" - p. 38 

(my comment: can we throw in a few more useless adjectives?) or

"As the couple was seated, with large menus reflecting the large selection of American food, Sofia marveled at the beguiling and alluring atmosphere they were sitting in." - p. 55

(my comment: using "large" within words of each other? and what exactly is a "beguiling and alluring atmosphere?") or

"At other times she felt claustrophobic, as if she was paddling in a sea, barely keeping her head above water, waiting for a calmer change in tide." - p. 57

(my comment: I think Zarrin may have her metaphors mixed up here, claustrophobia isn't associated with wide open spaces like the sea!)

Another interesting layer which I personally thought would resonate more with me was the transformative role of meditation and yoga. The novel touched on how Sofia turned to clean and healthy living, took yoga classes, and culminated in a retreat to learn Vipassana meditation. In the novel I felt that it was treated as band-aid to a bigger problem, and the last chapter became a blow-by-blow of the technique . It seemed to make a huge impression on Sofia, but unfortunately didn't really make much of an impression on me. To each his own, I guess.

Verdict: A heartfelt novel about a woman who gets dragged into the tumultuous world of marriage and life affected by drug addiction. If you're interested in meditation and yoga, you will get a nice little taste of its benefits.

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Book Depository

Full Wattage! by Liz Fletcher Brown

Full Wattage! A Practical Guide to Living an Engaging and Purposeful Life Worth Celebrating by Liz Fletcher Brown

Amazon.com: Paperback

Because you deserve it!

Synopsis: Have you lost the spark in your career or personal life? Are you feeling bored, restless, burnt out, overwhelmed or stressed? In Full Wattage! Liz Fletcher Brown shares with you practical tools, processes and valuable insights to help you find new meaning and enthusiasm at work and at home. It's your life, so why settle for anything less than being fully, dynamically, and enthusiastically alive? Unlock the secrets to living with Full Wattage! today.

My two cents: 

Some people have a special spark, an extra little something, the X-factor; something that sets them apart from even the more skilled, the more educated, the more whatever. Think about it: personally I'd much rather watch/listen to someone loving to dance/sing/whatever than simply going through the motions.

This is what Full Wattage! reminded me: passion and purpose are more important than perfection. It's not simply just being good at something, but discovering one's passion and purpose in life, or as the author asks: What is your core? 

Liz Fletcher Brown's dancing background sets the book's metaphor of dance for life. (This metaphor makes the discussion so much more accessible. Check out the fun chapter titles: setting the stage, how to keep your balance when the floor is rocking, discovering your dance life, and so on).

The author explains for a dancer, "our core is our powerhouse, our inner strength, the center from which all our all our movements and energy radiate. It's our brilliance!"

In layman's terms, one's core includes:

• Your sense of purpose
• Your natural strengths, gifts, and talents



Amazon.com: Paperback

• Your values

All this seems simple enough, right? But what this book does is break it all down and lead you through some serious self-examination, self-evaluation -- all surprisingly without any self recrimination. Reading through this book isn't difficult but if you want to maximize what the author is offering you, you need to be be honest with yourself.

If you're not quite ready to do that, I recommend you read through this book open-minded and come back to it with the intent to do each exercise, answer each question, and spend time in some introspection. It's not meant to be read; it's meant to be done.

***

The book format alternates between short chapters of explanation and various activities such as little quizzes and checklists (you need your own copy because you'll want to write everything down!)

Chockfull of little anecdotes from Liz's own life and drawing from her experiences with the many people she has worked with, there are numerous examples of other people's own experiences.

Chapters are short. Everything is doable, no nonsense and practical.

There is no lecturing, only encouragement and an obvious intent to inspire. Liz's voice is clearheaded, enthusiastic and unflappably optimistic: it actually feels like a friend is leading you through these exercises!

What resonated most with me is that this isn't a quick fix, the core of the book goes to the basics including examining ones' values. In my opinion, that is what sets good self-help books from those that are mere fads.

This is a wonderfully practical book to pick up if you're ready to recharge and make some real changes in your life.

Verdict: I love self-help books, especially if they are practical and do-able. Full Wattage! now makes my "most helpful self-help book arsenal." I highly recommend your getting own copy as quizzes are integrated with the main text. Check out further resources on the website.

Learn more about Full Wattage and Liz Fletcher Brown here:

• Website (includes some great resources)
• Facebook 
• Connect on Twitter
• Check out Liz's motivational videos on YouTube

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. I also hosted Liz Fletcher Brown's guest post Dance with Full Wattage and a held a giveaway on this blog.